ICU

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When I walked in he wouldn't even look at me.
I greeted him like usual, "hey handsome".
Not even a flicker of recognition in his eyes.
He was angry.
And I didn't blame him.
How do you go from being with people 24/7 to an hour in the morning and another in the afternoon?
What do you do for the 16 hours in between?
What do you do when you're only 4?!

 He was visible under the tubes today, an improvement.
Yesterday you couldn't see him for tubes.
But still, so many machines, so much background noise.
What could they possibly all be doing?
How could he be expected to understand?

 His wrists were bound to the bed, and he was being fed soggy crackers and cold maté.
To be honest, he was in better form than I would've been in the same situation.

 He was sucking on his bottom lip, as always, his nervous habit.
But today, that lip was quivering.
For the twenty minutes, on the brink of tears.

 In fact, the tears came, a number of times.
And each time I asked him, "what can I do?"
But the truth was, there was nothing I could do.
At least for now he's stuck where he is.
And that's all he wants, to escape.
I asked what I could do, but I couldn’t do anything.
He just wanted out, anyhow, anyway - but that’s nothing I can grant him right now.
I told him just a little while longer, then we would go upstairs again.
We would watch Peppa, and cuddle, and we would be there all the time again.

He wouldn’t have to worry about being left alone.

And that's when I realised - he was never alone before.
He lives with 5 boys, and there are always tias in and out.
They're there when he eats, sleeps, plays - always.
He's in a class of (at least) 30 kids.
Church, school, home - always surrounded.
Until now.
Of course he's scared.
Wouldn't you be?

Pray for C., please?

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