Doubt (almost a blog).

So, a couple of weeks ago I recorded an interview for Encounter on doubt. Since I haven't blogged in a very long time, and I don't have the inclination to actually write anything new - I thought I would post what I wrote for it. You may not see the video, ever. It was recorded first thing in the morning.

1. What part have doubts played in your faith as you learn to follow Jesus?

I am a doubter by nature. It’s just a part of who I am and how my head works. I’m not talking just God stuff, in general life too. (TV shows really bring it out in me…) But it did show itself most clearly in my relationship with Jesus. I had crippling doubts from I was 9. I remember clearly the night it started, and I lay in bed crying because what if God wasn’t real?! But I was scared to admit it incase people thought less of me, (or less of my parents) and so I just chose not to think about them. But that obviously didn’t work - and it certainly didn’t help with growing in my relationship with Jesus. When I was 15 a close family friend died and things were rough at home as people tried to deal with it, and we tried to be there for her family. I suddenly realised that I had no-one else to turn too, and I became very honest with God very quickly. It wasn’t pretty, because the doubts didn’t just go away. But in telling God how I was struggling, and talking to older friends who had been Christians for longer, I began to see a change and improvement in my relationship with Jesus. And it has continued to grow, though that wasn’t the last period of doubt by any means. I’m not ‘over’ doubting, and I don’t know if I ever will be - I think probably not. But I have learnt somewhat how to deal with them.

2. What advice might you give to someone who is finding that doubt is taking over their faith?

Most importantly, I would say don’t run away from them. They get bigger and scarier when you let them. Face them, and remember that God is bigger than your doubts anyway. He isn’t scared of them, and it will not be the first time He’s heard them. Be honest with Him, ask Him to show you the truth, even shout at Him if you must - just don’t let the communication end, that’s my biggest regret - that I just ran away and hid, and for 6 years missed out on the relationship I could have had with Him.

Secondly, be proactive. Do something about it. Talk to an older Christian, talk to your leaders, shoot me an email if you want. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re the only one who has ever had doubts, you are not. At all. I also always recommend the “Case for…” series by Lee Stroebel. The “Case for Faith” is the best and Chapter 8 is called “Can I have doubts and still be a Christian?” (Spoiler alert: yes, yes you can.) But the rest of it and the others are also very good if you want answers about Christianity and how real it is and how much God can be trusted.

So yes, that’s everything. Again, the most important thing is to remember that doubting is okay. It doesn’t invalidate your Christianity, and you aren’t the first one to do it. God can handle your doubts, so take them to Him, don’t hide them away and pretend you have none. That just makes them worse. And it’s worth fighting through them, because in the end you’ll find that God is 100% completely trust-worthy, and worth every bit of work you ever did to believe that with your whole heart.

And if you're not a Christian, maybe not even thinking about it, just know that it's okay to question it. Ask the hard questions, don't just close your mind and assume that you already know the answers - really look for it. You don't want to miss out just because you didn't try.