World Mental Health Day (one day late...)
I remember being 11 or 12 and thinking I was a robot, because my feelings just didn’t work right. Wondering if I was a clone, or if God had made some catastrophic mistake with me. I remember staying up night after night obsessing about questions that had no answers. Falling asleep to the TV that wasn't supposed to be on, only when my eyelids couldn't stay open any longer. I remember checking every single night if my family were all breathing. Standing at the door of their room, waiting for someone to take a breath. Over and over, night after night. I never said anything about it though, I hid it well. I was happy and bubbly and there was no way anyone would believe that I had any major issues. Truthfully, I didn’t even realise yet. Until it hit me like a train. The world got so dark, darker than I had ever known it to be. I couldn’t see light. I couldn’t see God. And it broke me. Reading and reading, looking for Him anywhere - but nothing. On my knees, asking forgiv